Throws and Pillows

Egregious Clown Laughter

My dreams last night leave me feeling wanting.  I was in the Castle Rock TV show town, and knew that because I was there, Pennywise was in the universe somewhere as well.  Kujo turned into a Dachshund, and the clown was first a midget, whom I disposed of quickly, and then the real version showed up and made it difficult to want to go back to sleep.

My back felt like it sort of slipped out on Saturday when I went for a walk with my sister and Pop.  My legs were already a bit shaky from Friday's leg day, and the walk didn't help, let alone my back kinda slipping out.

Sunday my friends from AZ went back home, and my back made it easy to sit around the house until I drove up to the city to see my sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and Pop before his flight.  We discussed a few things, one of which was my curiosity in how writers like Stephen King can write such horrible and grotesque things, and not in the moment push back from the desk and realize that what they just wrote was really fucked up.  How do they get away with it in society in general?  My Pop shared some thoughts he recalled from King's "Memoirs on the Craft" book where he talks about a few things that make him as a writer really just himself.  I guess he mentions that as he gets into the story, he's just following along like everyone else.  He doesn't write the story -- he makes a record of what has already taken place in a format like it's a historical record, even if in the form of fiction.  In that way, he's not the fucked up one -- the story is.  He just had to be the first to witness it.

And that begs the question of what else has he "witnessed" that the world will never see?

I've been curious because I've written myself into corners where something drastic is about to happen, but I realize it's just too off-keel to be okay with, so I either stop writing, or go back and rewrite so I don't end up in that position.  And then everything is second-guessed, and before I know it, my story is vastly different than how I started telling it.

Perhaps I should embrace it for a book and send it out.

However, I'd have to figure out the proper writing posture, because right now my forearms are on fire after just this short amount of text.

Measurements of Sole

I did my body scan, and got some pretty good data.  The metabolic assessment revealed I need to eat no less than 3600 calories each day to prevent losing both fat and muscle.  Anything extra on that for activity will add to the weight loss.  I'm still trying to figure out a plan, but calorie counting is now on the agenda.

I had about 220 lbs of muscle on me, which surprised the scan technician, and they said I have very healthy and strong bones.  So that's nice.

I figure I'll have to lose about 100 lbs to fit all of me onto the table.  I did get more of me on the table at the on-site facility, but not all of me.  So that is going to be a milestone.  I don't want to setup milestones as being weight lost in lbs, since muscle gain vs. fat loss is really the goal.  Perhaps more functional results will the be milestones I celebrate -- like fitting on the scanner, riding an airplane without the seat-belt extension, etc.

Today will be spent taking anti-inflammatories, using a heating pad, which I have going right now, and stretching my back out.  I can't not go to the gym, so that will be happening.

I realized that with some investment into exercise gear, I could do an at-home gym, and not do the gym elsewhere.  Current schedule doesn't allow for much "me" time and I need more "me" time without losing my mind.  I'll be investigating if I can get that started soon, or how long I'll have to wait to do that.

-Your Semi-Retarded Friend